A wave of sadness is setting in. As I am typing this, I can feel a dark cloud approaching. The only way I can describe how I feel right now is deep sadness, anger and worry. I am going to be honest and real as I hope writing this will help me.
I am sitting on the coach and have tears in my eyes. Here is what is going on inside my head right now:
-I am angry that Darin and I will not be celebrating our annniversary this summer.
-I am angry that the medical system is not responsible for this death.
-I am sad that Darin will not be here to celebrate my birthday in July.
-I am devastated that I will never see him again.
-I am heartbroken that my kids no longer have their wonderful father.
-I am scared of my future without him.
-I am worried about taking care of the house and car. Doing all the chores that he used to do.
-I am afraid of failure. I am afraid that I will fail our kids.
All of these thoughts are going on in my head at 9:30 on a Monday night. No wonder I am tired.
Aww, Ann! I am always here if you need to talk or vent.
Big hugs to you!
Thanks Brandy. xo
Oh honey, I am SO sorry that you have to go through this.
I do not think that I could go on and survive like you are doing.
{{HUGS}}
Thanks Angela. You find a strength inside of you that you never knew existed.
I’m so very sorry Ann.
Thank you xo. Such a tough time. Writing helps me release my feelings and then I feel good.
I truly can not imagine how you are coping with all the sadness, the worry and the fears but I do admire your strength and courage as you get up and face each new day. I can’t offer advice because I have never been where you are but I hope you know that you are thought of and prayed for and being sent a virtual hug…a long one.
Normal….totally normal. I wish I had something to say that would take away the fear and anger but there are no magical words. I still fear so many things.