Inside My Mind Tonight

A wave of sadness is setting in. As I am typing this, I can feel a dark cloud approaching. The only way I can describe how I feel right now is deep sadness, anger and worry. I am going to be honest and real as I hope writing this will help me.

I am sitting on the coach and have tears in my eyes. Here is what is going on inside my head right now:

-I am angry that Darin and I will not be celebrating our annniversary this summer.

-I am angry that the medical system is not responsible for this death.

-I am sad that Darin will not be here to celebrate my birthday in July.

-I am devastated that I will never see him again.

-I am heartbroken that my kids no longer have their wonderful father.

-I am scared of my future without him.

-I am worried about taking care of the house and car. Doing all the chores that he used to do.

-I am afraid of failure. I am afraid that I will fail our kids.

All of these thoughts are going on in my head at 9:30 on a Monday night. No wonder I am tired.

 

 

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8 Responses to Inside My Mind Tonight

  1. Aww, Ann! I am always here if you need to talk or vent.

    Big hugs to you!

  2. Angela says:

    Oh honey, I am SO sorry that you have to go through this.
    I do not think that I could go on and survive like you are doing.
    {{HUGS}}

  3. Neeroc says:

    I’m so very sorry Ann.

    • admin says:

      Thank you xo. Such a tough time. Writing helps me release my feelings and then I feel good.

  4. Paula says:

    I truly can not imagine how you are coping with all the sadness, the worry and the fears but I do admire your strength and courage as you get up and face each new day. I can’t offer advice because I have never been where you are but I hope you know that you are thought of and prayed for and being sent a virtual hug…a long one.

  5. Sandy Webb says:

    Normal….totally normal. I wish I had something to say that would take away the fear and anger but there are no magical words. I still fear so many things.